The WellHouse Fit's first SocialSweat's event in nearly 3 months held at Summerfield Farms

In the book 'Polishing The Mirror' by the great yogi and guru, Ram Dass, he says that we can feel everything all at once: "The art of life is to stay wide open and be vulnerable, yet at the same time to sit with the mystery and the awe and with the unbearable pain - to just be with it all." And the last 3 months has been a perfect example of this - an emotional roller coaster of every kind of feeling. I don't think I have ever felt happy, sad, and mad all at once until now. But, that is exactly Ram Dass' point, and when you truly immerse yourself into the moment, it's living truth. The amount of global events that have taken place is enough for an entire lifetime. But, it's all happening right now, and there doesn't seem any end in sight. For me however, it's time I personally accept these changes, adapt, and work to help create a better place. In order to move forward, I need to release what I cannot control and deal with this sense of helplessness, because truth be told, I am not helpless. None of us are. 

Never one to shy away from tough subject matter, I often encourage these difficult conversations and have even blogged about them before. If my studio, The WellHouse Fit, was allowed to be open, my amazing clients and staff would still be discussing, debating, and conversing on all that is happening in our world. I imagine our discussions would take place either propped up on equipment, congregating in our lobby, or hanging out in the parking lot after class. We would share our fears, stories of experiences, offer advice, and talk about what could be done to create a positive change. All smart minds, good souls, and amazing people, speaking on all that is going on... and I would be, as I often am, left enlightened and a little more educated. These types of conversations are a great way to develop empathy on subject matters and experiences you may know little about - such as sexual assault, mental illness, racism, global health pandemics, etc. It is uncomfortable and hard to do. It's not meant to be easy, but these current global events are happening, and they are impacting everyone, and we have to start talking about them with compassion and empathy in order to begin to create plans for a change. 

I wish I had the talent of a beautifully skilled and poignant writer, but I do not, and I lack the ability to put my thoughts down in that way. But, I hope to share some insight. I am a business owner who has had to physically close my studio doors due to this pandemic. I am also a mother of 3 children, who are privileged beyond measure because they are white. I have had to close my business, but still be accountable to the financial commitments. With my husband, I have had to home-school my children, go up against the most epic meltdowns caused by my poor explanation of fractions, tell them "no" 1200 times to going over to a friend's house, and struggle with my 3 year old that "all ninjas wear masks." I have cried over the strong possibility of having to close my business permanently and worry about what kind of personal financial ruin it will have on my family.

But, more important than business and finances, I have had my 12 year old son ask, "what happened to George Floyd," and sat him down along with my 9 year old daughter to discuss an already started conversation, and to continue to a more mature level of what "white privilege" is. I shared how my son's friend who lives just across the street, how his parents have to have a much different conversation about growing older all because he is Black. The worries I have as a mother of white children are different than being a mother of Black children. It is unfair and unjust.

Through all of these scary and unsure times, I have also had some pretty incredible moments. One has been that, even despite all of the frustrations that can hit throughout the days, it has been absolutely wonderful to spend more time with my husband and our three children. I have missed them and they had missed me. When you own your own business, and are so invested in it, one can lose sight and underestimate how much time has gotten away. That has definitely happened over the last 3 years. I knew when opening The WellHouse that there'd be a lot of sacrifices, but when the entire world came to an abrupt halt and made my family stop, we discovered just how much we had missed each other. Dinner back at the dining room table, cooking and dancing in the kitchen, learning how to play chess, falling in love with my husband all over again - it's been kinda amazing. Feeling amazing one minute then would lead to feeling guilty for being happy - I mean, my difficulties don't measure up to 400 years of Black oppression, and my happiness has increased as it seems the Black community is at the apex of despair. It's hard. But, it's exactly how Ram Dass sums up life - feeling everything at once. When walking through the thick and dark tree covered path, that light can still shine down.

What I have come to realize is that there's beauty in the madness of it all and people will still fight for the good of humanity. People will stand up for what is right. I decided to have my children witness these acts for themselves, because I could never, ever put into words the ability to share how powerful people's will to fight for a better life is. I had to show them. I showed them that even though bad will always be there, people will fight for the good. People will put on their face masks to protect the vulnerable while marching and hold up their Black Lives Matter signs, because it's the right thing to do, and because Black lives do matter. People will come together after a night of riots and looting in our downtown to help their fellow small business owners pick up the broken glass, repair the kicked in doors and help board up their store front windows, all while painting beautiful messages of hope for the future of our Black brethren. They will write the names of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Elijah McClain, Ahmaud Arbery, Tamir Rice, and Greensboro's own Marcus Smith, and show their support and respect for what is happening and fight against the oppression of people of color.

I don't know what my next step is exactly and I know I am not alone in that. This pandemic is here for a while. What I do know is that I want to continue to help people feel better through movement. I want to prove that the fitness industry can be safe while we help people work through both their physical and mental obstacles. I want my little WellHouse community's conversations to continue to happen and be shared on this blog. I know I want to continue to educate myself and my family on what our privilege means and how we can help be part of the change for a better and more equal life for all. I know that I want to fight for my business and for the fitness industry and have it be better supported and protected, because we need it to survive. I know I want to continue to be a voice and advocate for mental health and provide outlets for people who struggle with it. I hope I can make all of these desires my reality. I believe in myself, I believe in my family, friends, and you -  that we can be the good and create the change. Doing so all while wearing a mask and holding my Black Lives Matter sign. Be good. Do good. And feel all the things in each and every moment. Living and thriving. 

-There She Glows

Please, do not call me skinny. I am not skinny. I'm healthy. 

skinny - (adjective) very lean or thin; emaciated: a skinny little kitten. 

Below are comments that have been said to me about my body over the years, starting with 13 years of age up to more recently.

"LOL...thunder thighs"

"How much did you eat today, cause we can't toss you very high." 

"You have gained too much weight to wear that costume."

"Look honey, I can wear your clothes now. We can share because we are the same size."

"Ashley, you ain't bigger than a minute. You are so tiny."

"Jesus, we haven't practiced in a week and you feel like you gained 20 pounds."

"You need to keep your weight under 100lbs if you want to continue to be a flyer."

"Are you doing coke now to lose weight? LOL!"

"Oh my god! You are soooo freaking skinny! Ashley, you have lost so much weight. What are you doing to lose weight?"

"Well, you should be skinny. You're a Pilates instructor or whatever."

"You are so skinny. Like the size of a twig."

"Ashley, it's so good to see you, good lord you've gotten tiny. What did you do, stop eating?"

"Well, if I was like you and got to teach fitness classes all day, then I'd be really skinny too, but I have to go work at a real job." 

"What are you doing to have lost so much weight."

"You have lost so much weight...maybe too much weight. You are so skinny right now. I mean...you look good, but you're really skinny." 

My response: "I'm healthy. I'm not skinny, I'm actually healthy, and please don't comment on my body like that."

Before I dig in here and share, I do want to state that I know when someone is genuinely trying to give me a compliment and their good intentions. I do not want this post to be made into "I just need to learn how to take a compliment." I want to be very clear that I am not in a state of insecurity where I am fishing for compliments. Yes, at one point in my life I was very insecure and yearned for compliments to be given for the sole purpose to argue against that positive comment so that in return, the person who shared it would have to argue through my insecurities. That is no longer the case. At this current point in my life, when someone wants to compliment me in any way, I gladly accept it with much appreciation. That is why I believe I am confident enough to share my story here. I also know and agree that as a society, we can easily be offended and overly sensitive. People can read way too much into things, take something so simple and run with it. Neither of which is the case in point for sharing my personal story and feelings. 

The above comments that I have shared go from addressing what appears to be at a heavier frame to a skinny, more thin body - starting at or around 13 years of age to more recently. Just reading a couple of those statements is so hurtful. The reasons as to why certain individuals felt the need to say them or who they were said by - it's irresponsible. The purpose then and now is still confusing; just to give insult and flat out hurt my feelings. From being called "thunder thighs" or implying that I do drugs or have an eating disorder - ALL is unacceptable. Yet, this happens to young growing girls and adult women all the time. I have gained and lost weight over the years like a normal woman who has had 3 children should do.

Sadly, many people have been given backhanded compliments about their bodies. Boys and girls alike. This post is to shine a light on a term that may be meant as a compliment, but really is not and can be quite condescending. Even socially irresponsible. For me, I think it's because I'm a mother of two sons and a daughter, it has become extremely important that I speak up for myself on this matter. I do not think that an individual needs to go through the extremes of pregnancy and what that does to the body in order for this statement to be hurtful. Several of those above statements were said to me before I ever had children.  

I have been called "skinny" quite a bit throughout my 36 years and by the definition of what "skinny" means, I do not like it. By now, depending on the tone of one's voice, facial expression, or the context of the conversation; I know when that comment is shared as a compliment or intended as a contemptuous dig. As of late, I have had people share their thoughts on the current appearance of my physical body. Probably because recently, I have lost most of the weight that I had gained during my third and final pregnancy. My baby boy will be four this summer and I have always taken time to get the pregnancy weight off. 

If you read all of those quotes up top, you can see how the tone changes. How the compliments become more of digs and just flat-out rude. You might even see the one that appears to come from my mother because it did. My mother crushed my soul that day and it will never leave me. So maybe that is why I feel it is so important to take a stand and fight back on what people say. With hopes to open the discussion on what is socially acceptable when someone wants to comment on another person's body. Being a mom has changed my perspective on body image. For one, I don't want my sons to have ridiculous expectations of how a woman should look. Second, I want my daughter to feel confident within her own skin, but most importantly; I want all three to know and understand that "skinny" does not paint the picture of good health. Yet, that little word gets tossed all over the place, and often it is said in front of my kids. Is my annoyance by the word more of a pet peeve in that by definition, is used incorrectly to either compliment or describe my body...? Possibly, but I feel certain that the weight it can bring when said to someone directly or if overheard, can be pretty powerful for all the wrong reasons. 

"Well, if I was like you and got to teach fitness classes all day, then I'd be really skinny too, but I have to go work at a real job." 

This one was said to me at the pool one summer by a parent of one of my son's friends. It basically implied that because I'm a professional Pilates and fitness instructor, all I do every day is work out. When that woman said that to me, I literally had to fight the immediate urge to want to hawk up a loogie and spit it right in her face. A tad bit aggressive, I know, but that was such an insult on both my profession and my body. I of course refrained from the spit show and kept to my social grace gold standards. But, let me shine some light on this whole assuming fit pros have all the time in the world and look "skinny" because it's our job to do so....

First off, being a fitness instructor means that I am in the service industry. I serve others. I have to put myself aside to properly serve my clients and their needs. In addition to this, I am not just an instructor, but also a business owner. I'm not going to list out all of the in/outs of running your own business, but I will say that time is never on my side. My whole life revolves around the times and needs of my clients, and because of the nature of the modalities I teach, I can't just join my clients in class and teach all at the same time. I need to be visually aware and present to give correctional cues, to physically adjust their body, and to keep them safe. So no... I'm not "skinny" because I "get to work out all day." I still have to find time to work out myself just like everyone else with or without a job.

Now let's talk about what it truly means to be healthy, because again based on the definition alone, skinny is not the same as healthy. I believe the word "emaciated" is used as part of the definition along with the visual description of a kitten. Yeah...that is not what I look like nor is it my goal to do so. To me...healthy is a broad term but is multi-pronged with three key components. All three are so important to have as the foundation of life. Healthy body (diet/exercise), healthy mind (mental health), and healthy soul.  I have worked so damn hard on all three of those circles and for the first time ever, I am achieving them. Which is why I have become quite protective. I want to show and encourage my children that they have to work on all three parts to be their best self and it is hard work. As we see on social media time and again, more and more people are sharing that looks can be so deceiving. And last time I checked, you kinda have to have a proper diet in order to get the best physical and mental outcome. There was a time in my life where I did appear super trim and cut, but my diet was sh*% and it showed through my mental health more than the physical. 

I did not have the best childhood. The last 5 years of my life have been brutal. More specifically, the last 2 were stained with a lot of loss and tragic events. During certain periods of my life, my body may have appeared to be rock solid and healthy, but that could not have been further from the truth. I was called "skinny" as a compliment during some of the darkest times of my life. I cannot stress this enough, skinny does not determine if someone is healthy. My mental health was a wreck and I was a mess. On the flip side, there have been times where I was heavier and just as happy as I could be, but no one commented on my appearance. Which is totally fine. I never thought less of myself. However, when people do feel inclined to speak out to me about my appearance, it can bring on many uncomfortable and honestly, just sad emotions. 

"You have lost so much weight...maybe too much weight. You are so skinny right now. I mean...you look good, but you're really skinny." 

Those exact words were said to me by a former client whilst in front of some of my staff as well as fellow patrons of my studio. I had just finished teaching a packed class where the women worked so hard and crushed that workout. Everyone was in lifted spirits, and for me personally; I felt such a huge sense of accomplishment because that vibe that everyone was celebrating is my goal for every single class that I teach. It brings me pure joy. That joy was quickly dropped and shattered to my studio floor and everyone saw the hurt. I will never truly understand why the sudden shift and why that client felt that it was appropriate to say that to me. But, it has happened so many times before. It reminds me of a total Regina George moment from Mean Girls and something she'd totally do. You're right in the middle of trying to find logic in the unexpected confrontation, and then BAM! Regina guts you by cutting away from the topic. Totally changes her tone of voice, looks you up and down, and then she finishes with a passive-aggressive, fake compliment on your appearance. It's like...what is that? What the hell do I do with that? It was a very similar incident and overall feeling that occurred with that person and their negative energy. Right in the middle of me trying to handle a simple discrepancy on her account, she felt it necessary to interrupt me and with a condescending tone say to me, "You have lost so much weight...maybe too much weight. You are so skinny right now. I mean...you look good, but you're really skinny."

I was appalled. And because of her rude and harsh interruption, the condescending tone of her voice, and blatant disregard for who all was around - I pushed back. Client or not, friend or faux, I had to stand up for myself. I had to stand up for the foundations of my business. I had to stand up for the women who had just worked so hard to better themselves. I had to stand up for my staff members who needed to know that they work in a safe and respectful environment, and I had to stand up for my daughter that very well could have heard how I was spoken to, and that it was NOT okay! It will never be okay.

Being called skinny, especially when you are clearly of healthy weight gives a huge contribution to body image problems as a whole. Was that person an awful human for saying that to me - I don't think so. Unfortunately, I think that as a society, especially women, we have been programmed to go for the "body". Like a boxing match. Whether it's to give encouragement and make note of someone's hard work or if it's to give a cut-down and insult someone - we go for the person's body. The physical being that is in front of them. 

Every day since, if and when I am told that I am "skinny," I politely respond by saying, "No, I'm healthy." My point is this, we will always see someone that we haven't seen in person in a while, and there will always be physical differences to their appearance. That is the reality of life. We do not stay the same forever and in some cases, that is a good thing. Be mindful of what you are saying and how you are saying it. Have empathy. Share the excitement and celebrate positive changes if it's appropriate to do so, but be respectful and mindful. Have some present-time consciousness and maybe shine a bright light on them for good things even when it's not for a physical change. There's so much more to life, to a healthy life than pounds and inches. And to understand that is where the small, little progressions are made. It's those small changes that with time, tend to change the behavior, therefore leave more impact and a more impressionable result for the positive.  

-There She Glows 

Image: The PTDC

Let's talk about stretching. First off, you know that you should do it. We ALL need to be doing it. It's kinda like drinking water, we know we need to be drinking more, but we give every excuse as to why we don't. Stretching truly is a game-changer when it comes to your body. It really is. From the obvious reasons like improving your flexibility and mobility to increasing blood flow to your muscles and providing a mental release. Just do it and do it often. 

Here's the thing, we spend so much of our time trying to get into shape, working our bodies oh so good to try to get those muscles on point to look strong and defined. While in your fitness class, the music changes pace and slows, the instructor says, "we're gonna begin our cool down, guys," which means you barely have two minutes to slow down your breath and do some measly quad and hamstring stretches before you make a mad dash off to the next thing in life. So wrong. The truth is when the workout is over, we abandon our muscles and are usually left with the impression that the deep soreness we experience afterward just means we crushed our workout. That's no good. 

Let me ask you this, do you get massages? If so, then how often? Or how about visiting the chiropractor? Do you ever do that? If yes to either, then my follow-up question is how often do you stretch in-between visits? Like most, probably never. Think of it like this, if you're putting in time and money to visit either a massage therapist or a chiropractor to provide you with some kind of release within the body, then surely you'd want those good benefits to last for as long as possible. Both are great healing remedies, but if you're not going to train and encourage your muscles to help keep the proper alignment of your body's frame, then you're missing a huge opportunity. In comes the stretching and doing it costs you nothing - you need no appointment and you don't have to leave your bedroom, much less your house.

Why should I stretch?

I literally typed that question in the google box and this was the first thing to come up and I'm gonna go with it from Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School -

"Stretching keeps the muscles flexible, strong, and healthy, and we need that flexibility to maintain a range of motion in the joints. Without it, the muscles shorten and become tight. Then, when you call on the muscles for an activity they are weak and unable to extend all the way. That puts you at risk for joint pain, strains, and muscle damage."

Pretty straightforward and simple explanation if you ask me.

How often should I stretch?

As a professional Pilates and fitness instructor, I get asked this question quite a bit and at my studio, The WellHouse Fitness, stretching will ALWAYS take place no matter what. It's simply a part of every workout we offer and teach. Whether group classes or private sessions, stretching is incorporated. But, that doesn't mean that you should only stretch when you work out. Uh no...errryyy body needs to stretch, cuz tight muscles don't discriminate. So, even if you don't work out you should still stretch your body, and from a professional standpoint, I would recommend a minimum of 3x a week. And if you do workout, you don't get a free pass if you stretch right after your workout - you should still do it on non-workout days too. 

What types of stretches should I be doing?

There are two different types of stretching, dynamic and static. Dynamic stretching is movement-based - for example at the start of every class, we teach about a 5-10 minute warm-up that includes "dynamic stretching." In a Pilates session, we begin by doing stretches through the motion to warm up both the spine and core to make sure the integrity of the exercises and work stays within the abdominals and not pull into the back to cause a strain. In Bounce Fit classes, we do similar exercises to awaken the body, but also to warm up the ankle, knee, and hip joints because we bounce on rebounders. 

The second type of stretching is, static. Static stretches are where you hold the position of the stretch for a certain amount of time. I would never recommend jumping right into static stretches first thing, no matter how flexible a person is. You need to get the blood moving and work on the range of motion of the joints. Think of tin-man from "The Wizard of Oz", he needs his oil can before he can move. Have you ever jumped out of bed cause you're late and bent over to stand up quickly and felt a twinge...? If not, lucky for you. But, static stretches should be done after the body has been warmed up and moving a bit.

If you're in a fitness class, then ideally static stretches are a good way to end your workout. For both Pilates and Bounce Fit classes, we always end our sessions with either lying on our backs or at the ballet barre to stretch out our body head to toe, and this usually is the last 7-10 minutes of class. It is during this time we take a stretch and hold the position for about 30 seconds or so.  

What do I need to stretch?

You honestly don't need much to achieve a great stretch sesh - your bedroom wall, bed, and floor can work just fine. But, if you can grab some tools, then my personal favorites are a yoga strap, foam roller, Pilates ring aka "magic circle," and a large yoga ball. I will link below a quick video where I use the Pilates ring to stretch. It's such a great tool to use and is a fan favorite at the studio.

I'll leave you with this, babes...we are ALL getting older, but we want to look good and feel good while we're doing it. So stretch as often as you can. It costs you nothing but some of your time that would be well spent. I personally love a nice quiet moment all to myself, maybe with a little music in the background going whilst I let the tension go, but I don't always (rarely, is more like it) get to have the quiet moments to do it. So...I have been known to lift up a leg onto my countertop while chatting with a gal pal and sipping on some wine. I have no shame. 

Head over to Be In The Glow's YouTube Channel to watch one of my favorite ways to stretch using the Pilates ring! Let us know if you give it a go!

Let's all be in the GLOW!

 -There She Glows

Image Credit: Health Magazine 

One might think that I should keep this glow post to myself, and yet here I go, sharing away...

Right, so anyway...let's just get to it and ask, do you wear undies with your workout clothes? Or, like me, do you dare to go bare? Totally keeping it super real, but "yes," I do not wear underwear with my workout leggings, and on the rare occasion that I do it's typically because I know I'm only teaching and not actually moving a lot. If I am wearing more of a sweat-pant/jogger style pant, then I will wear underwear, and definitely, in my "normal" street clothes, I do wear undies. Being in the fitness industry, I have grown accustomed to seeing all kinds of athletic apparel and I personally have figured out what works best for me which is a workout legging that allows me to be naked as a jaybird underneath.

Honestly, it's all I have ever known. From my dance days, it's mostly true that no one wears underwear with their tights and leotards, especially for performance. Yeah, it's cute to see a little tiny tot with cartoon character panties hanging out - but that doesn't fly past 5 years old. As a matter of fact, and this is still true to this day, most dance companies/studios require a certain attire for class, and typically written next to pink tights and black leotard is "no underwear or visible panty lines" whatsoever. Cheerleading was the same when it came to my uniform. The briefs, spankies, bloomers, were to be worn alone - 'cause the last thing a cheerleader needed to worry and fuss with while either being tossed in the air or taking a tumbling pass is her underwear hanging out of her briefs.

However, I know that a ton of women are just either not comfortable or haven't found the right kind of pant to let it go. It kills me when I see a woman deep into her workout, only to have to come to a dead stop and dig her undies out of her butt. Seeing this also kinda triggered me in a way and after years of going bare, I did begin to wonder if it was healthy for my body if I didn't wear underwear. Having 3 kids will change a girl's ways down there if you know what I mean! Is there a need for more of a barrier? Could not wearing underwear cause infections? I personally did not struggle with that, but I know enough that just because I don't have an obvious problem, doesn't mean I should wait for one to happen either. Prevention is key in all things in life, am I right?

In a previous blog post, I had shared my personal struggles with the infamous sweaty triangle crotch, and wearing panties did not slow that situation from occurring one bit - I have tried many times, and if anything, it was worse. Too many layers and too much heat gets trapped. Nonetheless, I want to make sure I'm doing what's best for my body and things can get emotional down there.

I decided it best to take my questions beyond google and straight to my OBGYN, and apparently, this is a very common question and concern for a lot of women. Overall, my doctor shared that there is nothing wrong or harmful to you or your lady bits if you choose to not wear underwear with workout leggings. It's more of a personal preference and each individual's body is different and reacts differently. There are, however, some things to keep in mind and consider, and by both my doctor's recommendations and general research, I found the best solution for me. 

In general, whether you go bare or not, there are some things to consider when shopping for workout leggings. Here are a few things to keep in mind...

You want to consider the fabric/material of the pant. Now, if you're just going for fashion over function to get that Insta pic, then hit up Forever 21 all day. But if you're truly going to be working out, then you should put a little more effort into your search. It is true, and rightfully so, that more high-end companies will use higher-grade materials when creating their fabrics that encourage moisture-wicking properties as well as antibacterial agents. For example, Lululemon is known to use fabric with silver weaved into it as silver is a natural anti-bacterial agent. Bamboo pulp is also another natural material that can often be found blended with fabrics such as spandex or lycra because it helps absorb and wick away moisture. 

Another consideration to have when shopping for workout leggings is the thickness of the pant and this is in addition to the obvious reason that it's not *see-through*. So, while you're trying them on in that god-awful dressing room lighting, go ahead and test out the 'bend and snap' to assure that you can't see your bits. But, the other reason you want thickness is because you want to make sure that whatever you come in contact with won't come through the pant. Envision this...you're at the gym for your workout. You sit down on the rowing machine...ever wondered whose crotch was there before yours and if they followed the rules of cleaning before and after their workout? You following me here? You're gonna want some distance between your business and the person who was before you. I don't care how fancy the gym and how expensive the membership - people are gross. Annnnddd... bacterial transfer can happen even if you are wearing underwear. If the pant is thin, bacteria is coming. Unless it's good quality, then there's more of a prevention. 

A more obvious solution when trying to keep the crotch drama on the DL with your lady bits is to simply change out of your sweaty workout clothes sooner rather than later. As women, we tend to cram in as much as we possibly can in the hours that we're awake, and running 500 errands after a major sweat sesh is not really encouraged, but we do it. Whether you dare to go bare or not, that heat and dampness can be a straight-up breeding ground for bacteria and I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. Also, ever thought about the heated seat feature in your car? Mmm...mmmm. You're just asking for an infection!

One thing that my doctor flat out did say was, "Do not wear thongs while working out!" He's against thongs altogether and says to "avoid wearing them at all cost." And to be honest, my Sisqo "Thong Song" days are well behind me. I'm more into keeping my crotch intact than being cute and showing off my whale tail. I also do Pilates and rebounder fitness, so the thought of either doing some Russian splits on the equipment or bouncing around on a trampoline while wearing a string up my ass just makes me gag a little. Yuck. And in case you need reason 500 as to why you shouldn't wear a thong during a workout is this: think about the anatomy of the female body...that thong has been places where the sun doesn't shine. Add in some squats, maybe cardio, mixed with sweat, that string thing has moved all around. That can't be good and you're just asking for a yeast infection or worse. Possibly E. coli up in your lady business. That's a no-go in my book and nobody wants to deal with that hot mess express. So don't do it. Like...ever! 

Here's the conclusion - it's totally fine and sanitary to go bare in your workout clothes. For me, it's the most comfortable with less on-the-fly adjustments and such. Just keep in mind the type of workout pants you're wearing and if the fabric and material would support your bare[ness]. I personally can't do my full-on workouts while wearing panties. I end up having to fidget too often and it becomes quite a distraction. But, I do invest in good workout pants that have the right thickness, sweat absorption, and help prevent bacterial growth. I don't mind spending a pretty penny on more expensive workout leggings for those reasons and I truly consider it an investment in my health. 

Being a fit pro, I have come to find some main staples for workout pants that are tried and true. Of course, Lululemon is top because they did it first and do it best. I love their ever-popular Wunder Under or Align leggings. The Align legging is more of a thinner pant, but this is where higher grade material and technology are the point of difference between other brands. They are truly the best! I also like Athleta's Salutation legging as well. They fit and feel similar to Lulu's Align. Another brand that is honestly what I own the most of is Fabletics' Power Hold, high-waisted leggings. The price point is damn great, and they legit are of great quality and offer the features that I want and need to do both my workouts and my job without worry about my underwear getting in the way. I have not had any issues doing what I do - bare bum while wearing any of these leggings. Give them a go!

As for wearing the undies or not, do you! If you are truly finding yourself constantly messing with your pants or maybe worse, you don't even notice that you're doing it cause it's second nature, then dare to go bare. Obviously, if you could care less about digging for gold, then what do I know? I support you too, henny. I may call you out while in class if you're constantly going after yourself, but I'll still love you. Just let go of the thongs tho. Like...those bishes need to be burned. 

xoxo,

There She Glows

Secrets out. I shave my face weekly and if my husband, Sir Charleslie, reads this he will finally understand why I have a razor in my toothbrush holder. Annnnd...that it's not for a quick at the sink bikini line shave as I told him it was. Cause, if I'm honest, that area hasn't seen a razor in a hot minute. It's winter and just like people don't like to paint their toenails in the winter to give them a "break", I do the same for my bikini area. But that's for another day...

Yes, I shave my face and have been for years. I will get to my reasons as to why here in a few, but how I even came to include this in my skincare routine was by taking part in a guilty pleasure - I was watching some good ole classic reality TV. If you were an original Real Housewives of New Jersey fan, then you might remember the scene where Caroline Manzo was in her bathroom doing her nightly rituals while casually chatting in front of her husband and openly, like it was completely normal, shaving her face. Just recapping the day with her hubs and stroking up her bare-faced skin with a 'Mach 3' razor with no shaving cream. No biggie. Except, it became national headlines and people were totally freaking out. Not me though. At this point in my professional life, I had been working for a prestigious cosmetic brand for quite some time and this totally intrigued me. I am and forever will be all about some skincare treatments, products, methods, you name it. 

Shortly after seeing this, I had my annual dermatologist appointment. Some of my concerns to discuss with my doctor was my sensitive and very reactive skin after a hair removal treatment for my lady stash. I can grow a mustache better than a hormonal boy in puberty and it's so annoying! Every time I would get my upper lip either waxed, threaded, Nair'd, or bleached, it would break out. It got to the point of not knowing which was worse - my dark whiskers or all the pustule bumps. Either way, it was so embarrassing and by the time the area would heal, it wasn't long in between before I'd have to do it all over again. I didn't have much time to enjoy not worrying and stressing over the thought of someone noticing my lady stash or using a shish ton of makeup to try to cover it up. And yes - I have tried every kind of organic, soothing, essential oil healing, clean kind of products out there. 

So...back to my chat with my derm doctor - I shared this nightmare and she had the most simple response. "Oh...well then just shave it off." I immediately flashed to images of searching for the best face shaving cream to use. Should I try cream or a shave lotion? What about an electric razor? She could see my eyebrows take the shape of "what the hell, lady?" She again just matter of fact said, "seriously...just shave it. But not like how a man shaves." This began to ease me, and I shared with her about Caroline Manzo and she was like, "oh yeah! I saw that too, and yes kinda like her." 

My doctor began to share the comparisons to male facial skin and female facial skin along with the differences in their facial hair. It's not the same. And for me who was experiencing the worst luck managing my upper lip, the simple, yet very effective solution to shaving my face seemed like a win - which it has been and I've been doing it for years now with no issue. So I found it kinda funny that the ever-popular dermaplaning has blown up and now all you see is women posting to the gram vids and pics of themselves shaving their faces. They do say there are differences between dermaplaning and shaving, but nonetheless, the hair removal seems to be the same and as effective.

So, what are the differences between dermaplaning and shaving?

TBH, there's more in common than different with these two methods. I would say the main difference is the tool itself. Dermaplaning uses a single sharp blade and is noted that this method/tool exfoliates the epidermis as well as removal of the skin's vellus hair. Otherwise known as "peach fuzz". It is suggested to dermaplane on clean, dry skin. This I do as well with a more traditional razor. Some people consider dermaplaning as their main form of exfoliation as well. I personally do not, as I exfoliate my skin daily. That is what is best for my skin and gives me the best results from both my skincare and my makeup application. But, of course, everyone is different. 

Can I do this at home or do I need to visit a dermatologist or esthetician?

This answer is a matter of opinion. I personally was told by a dermatologist that I could easily do this myself at home. I had no problem with doing that and felt totally comfortable in doing so. If you don't and are unsure of how to do it or concerned with how your skin will respond and react, then definitely consult peeps within that field. If your current skincare routine and products do not currently involve exfoliation or promote cell turnover, then taking a blade to your face may cause some irritation. Both manual scrubs and/or serums that encourage exfoliation are traditionally released on a more gentle level and tend to take your face a little while to fully shed an entire layer of skin. So, don't be surprised if your skin does react to taking a straight blade to it because you are truly removing dead skin at a more rapid rate. Which is fine and safe to do, but some skin does not handle that as well. Think of it as you had never run a day in your life, or maybe you will hit the pavement here and there, but nothing on the regular, then you decided to enter into a marathon but don't train for it. What happens? Maybe nothing and your body handled it like a champ (not me, I'd pop a lung and die) or maybe you had to stop to walk a lot or quit all together. Your body needs time to build up a tolerance for such physical activity and your facial skin is no different. 

The bottom line, use your judgment. If concerned, reach out to the professionals. What I don't think you should do is watch your latest Insta influencer on how to do it or a YouTube video. If you're concerned enough, there are great people who know what would be best for you, your skin and can properly guide you to achieve your best skin results. 

Facial hair myths...

The texture and color of your hair on your entire body are the same even after you shave or remove it. Look at your legs, armpit, or bikini line hair - it's the same every time it grows back. It does not change and grow back thicker, darker, or fuller. That is a huge myth. You can not change the structure of your hair follicle by shaving the hair from which it grows from off. When you do, yes, the hair can seem thicker as it grows back in because it has a blunt edge to it. But once the hair has fully grown back, it will be the exact same.

Second, you cannot change the pigmentation of your facial skin. Now, your skin can appear brighter, which is why exfoliation is so loved, but not the actual pigment. However, what can adjust the skin's pigmentation change is a blemish, such as ingrown hair or breakout and sun exposure. But, not the actual process of shaving the hair. Wear SPF daily, for a million reasons with one being to prevent skin discoloration. 

What can change in your skin or hair is a hormonal shift. But shaving your skin does not cause hormonal changes throughout your body. It's not that powerful.

As for me, I truly am grateful I introduced this to my skin routine years ago. It has honestly saved me and allowed me to be more confident. And as I shared above, I did initially consult my dermatologist on my concern and her suggestions for treatment did work for me. I also was confident in doing this method as I had been a trainer in the cosmetic industry at an executive level for nearly 15 years. I am also confident to know what I can try on my own and when I need to reach out to the experts. You do you!

Best,

There She Glows